


For Want of a Word

by Metronome_I_Hear



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Apathy, Character Study, Flames are a physical manifestation of our ability to create connections, Gen, Implied Cannibalism, Nana suffers for Iemitsu's mistakes, What happens if you take that ability away?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 16:44:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21274424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Metronome_I_Hear/pseuds/Metronome_I_Hear
Summary: Nana has many regrets.She regrets that she gave her first kiss to Tsukimoto-kun back in her first year of highschool. She regrets that she didn’t get to say goodbye to her grandfather on his deathbed. She regrets not listening to her mother more when she was a little girl. She regrets that she never took the time to notice that Saki-chan was depressed.She regrets that she isn’t able to do more for her son.





	For Want of a Word

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: #251 "I've lost the word for prayer"

Nana has many regrets.

She regrets that she gave her first kiss to Tsukimoto-kun back in her first year of highschool. She regrets that she didn’t get to say goodbye to her grandfather on his deathbed. She regrets not listening to her mother more when she was a little girl. She regrets that she never took the time to notice that Saki-chan was depressed. 

She regrets that she isn’t able to do more for her son.

Her Tsu-kun is covered in blood again. It’s on his shirt and staining his pants. It’s gotten onto the laces of his shoes, and worked its way into the crevices of the plastic. She’ll have to replace them again--it’s the third time she’s had to do so.

She sits him down on a chair in the kitchen, and holds his hands carefully in hers. There is blood under his fingernails too. She’ll have to have him wash later--but first.

“Where is the body?”

Her Tsu-kun blinks at her with empty eyes. There is blood staining the skin around his mouth. He thinks for a long quiet moment and then tells her the location. There is blood staining his teeth. 

Nana, as she has done before and as she will do again, nods. She smiles--though she knows the action has no meaning to him--stands and prepares to do what must be done.

The body, when she finds it in the back of an alley, is just as gruesome as the others. It’s head has been beaten in, blood matter stains the alley floor. It’s chest has been stabbed, the flesh torn. Intestines spill over the ground, carelessly tossed aside. The heart, as usual, is nowhere to be found among the mess.

She cleans.

It is not a pleasant job. The first few times she had to do this she threw up several times before the deed was done. She still feels nauseous at every scene, still has to force herself to breathe through her mouth lest she vomit once more, still sees the bodies every time she closes her eyes and tries to sleep--

But it is for her son. And a mother will do anything for her son.

(She will do anything for her son. No matter how depraved, no matter how grotesque--)

When she is finished and the evidence has been taken care off, Nana returns home. Her hands tremble as she opens the door. They still when she sees her Tsu-kun sitting patiently where she left him in the kitchen. It isn’t often that he remains. He doesn’t understand why he should, just as he doesn’t understand a lot of things. Things like loyalty and love. Connection. Empathy. But he’s been staying still more often in recent times. 

Nana knows better than to hope.

(There was a time when she’d prayed that he would get better, that this would be over, that he would be  _ her son _ again--)

“Tsu-kun. You need to take a shower.” She takes his hand and leads him to the bathroom. The blood has dried and crusted on his skin. She makes a note to buy more shampoo, they’ll be running low soon. “Put your clothes on the counter. I’ll take care of them.”

Her Tsu-kun tilts his head at her, considering. His eyes are still blank. He doesn’t put on a front for her, not like he does for others. He doesn’t see the point. Nana is his mother. His caretaker. She’s been there since the beginning. She knows he feels nothing for her, knows that anyone could act as his mother and it would make no difference to him, but she doesn’t care. Tsunayoshi is her son, and a mother will do anything for her son.

He showers. She takes his clothes to be washed or burned. She puts clean clothes on the counter for him to change into when he is finished cleaning off all the gore. This, all of this, is routine.

Her Tsu-kun comes out of the bathroom, dressed in clean clothes. He ignores her. Doesn’t see the point in interacting with her. Hasn’t, in the longest time. Nana smiles at him anyways--a pointless action--and sets about preparing for dinner. 

She washes rice. She boils vegetables. She fries fish. She prepares food, lovingly cooked, and chokes down her tears. 

This, too, is routine. 

Once, she thinks, her Tsu-kun was not like this. He was like other children who laughed and cried and loved and hated. He was scared of dogs and loved her cooking and never failed to smile when she called out his name. He had friends--real solid connections with other children his age, with the people around him. He understood her when she told him she loved him, hugged her back when she held him, and laughed when she kissed his cheek. Then he turned four and her husband had come home with his boss and  _ something-- _

Something happened to her son.

Nana has many regrets. None are so large as this one.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Cold Hearth](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21897325) by [rewire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rewire/pseuds/rewire)


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